Across The Veil: The Importance Of Living Well, And Dying Well.
By Roman Delgado
Hello world, what I write here comes from years of training and experience as a Shamanic Healer and Psychic Medium. In particular my work in Ancestral Healing and Psychopomp Work (more on that later) I invite you now, as the veil grows thin, to venture into a subject that Western Culture has demonized and shunned for a some time. The concept of death and dying. The concept of living and having death being part of that process. I hope that if my writing moves you, even to irritation and anger. That you bring your thoughts and mine both to your communities. Calling the ancestors “Those who lived well, and died well.” Is something I picked up from Shamanic Teacher and Author Christina Pratt and her Podcast “ Why Shamanism Now?”
To me it seems incredibly appropriate to do so. Those who successfully enter the afterlife tend to do so because they have no unfinished business here. No baggage to make them stay in the world of the living. There are also those who did not live well and did not die well, and they are a subject of their own. In order to be an ancestor, we must first live a life worthy of being one. Not in a form of judgement over our actions, but in a way in which when our time comes and she who wields the scythe comes for us and touches us, we surrender to the touch of death without regret. (in my culture of origin death is female). It is then that we transcend the world of the living and enter the afterlife. Where we learn from the lessons of each moment we experienced here. It is those lessons when learned properly and with authenticity that make us into Ancestors. So what about those of us who live a life heavy with regret? As a shamanic healer I have seen countless clients where the energy of the dead are causing issue with the living in various degrees of severity. You see, when you don’t live a life you are satisfied with, you are generally less inclined to want to move on. Also, if you were toxic and in a lot of pain alive, you are also going to be toxic and filled with pain in death. It is only in the afterlife that we find the medicine for the souls of the dead. There is also another element to consider here before we discuss how the dead affect the living: The dying process itself. We have all heard the pop culture trope of people who passed suddenly, or tragically. Many of them don’t even know they are dead! This has taken a new element in times of Pandemics. People who have died in isolation due to illness of some type. It is difficult to close up loose ends with loved ones if you are dying alone in a hospital bed, due to a very contagious illness. There is so much about the dying process that is important! There are so many modern day religious communities that no longer offer the last rites, some religious denominations favor a blessing for the sick in its place. So why is all of this an issue? The truth is that dying on your own terms is as much of a part of living as living a life free of regrets. Including dying in a way in which you feel welcomed into the afterlife by the divinity of your belief system. I cannot begin to express as a healer the damage to the souls of the dying that Hellfire and Brimstone belief systems cause. When we die in fear, do not die well. As I sit in my temple writing this next to an altar to Santa Muerte, the living embodiment of death in my culture of origin, I feel her pain and see her tears flow in my mind’s eye. The dead and the dying are her people and she has great compassion for them. So what does all of this have anything to do with the living? After all, many people are more concerned with their own lives than the wellbeing of those long gone. When someone dies in a state of toxicity, pain and/or illness, when those people don’t cross over, they stay amongst the living. Like a proverbial typhoid Mary, infecting everyone they come into contact with their toxic patterns. These patterns can be passed down family lines from generation to generation. They can be passed down to community members. They can be picked up by spiritually sensitive people living without good energetic boundaries or shields. Anyone that the dead who did not cross over come into contact with or feels drawn to for any reason; however benign their intent, can be the next person infected by the pain they carried in life. I have seen this with many of my clients as a shamanic healer. It goes beyond physical illness. I have seen issues with money. I have seen toxic relationships. I have seen abuse of many types, and not all from family. I have seen chemical dependency issues. There is no limit to how the dead can pass on the energy signature of illness to the living. If they experienced it as a reoccurring issue all their lives, they will pass it on to the living. This issue can be very dangerous. Think what happens if you are a spiritual individual. Hanging out at a bar where someone died of alcohol poisoning. All due to their own alcohol addiction? The dead can use the fact that you are “out of it” in order to attach itself to you and get his fix of his chosen drink through you. And if he chooses to drink you to the grave . . . I have seen it. I am not trying to scare anyone here, but this is a real issue! It can be so easily solved. With the greatest set of healing tools for those on their way out of this world: Love and Forgiveness! Many times when dead people who were toxic in life. Do not cross over, one of the main reasons why is guilt. They are afraid to be judged in the afterlife. A lie propagated in order to put religion and politics together. When someone who has been affected by their toxicity in any generation, grants them forgiveness, they become willing to seek help and move on. Imagine a father who was toxic and heavily wounded on his way out heard from someone, that they knew he did what he could with what life gave him? Without judgement or anger; simply understanding that wounded people tend to wound others. It is a deeply healing thing. It sets free both the living and dead from the bondage of wounding and pain.
When the dead are living rent free inside our head, they are not in the afterlife. So what is the solution to those who did not cross over? It is through the help of an experienced member of the Clergy or Shaman. Through someone who can be the Psychopomp, the ferryman of the dead to take them where they need to be. To go to a healer and clear the energetic aftermath of abuse and toxicity. And let's not forget plain old-fashioned therapy. For issues that are generational, a good therapist has a lot to offer in helping us learn to break patterns. For those young enough - fix your own path before you end up a ghost. It has less to do with death. It has everything to do with living! In Mexico Santa Muerte is worshiped with great devotion. Because she understands we have little time in the greater scheme of things. She helps thrive through both the good days and times of adversity. Her devotees seldom fear death, not just because we worship her. But because through our faith we have lived a life without regret. We had a good run! Yet this is true of any faith! Even the lack of one. If you feel your actions and beliefs have lead to you to live a life of satisfaction. When time grows near and its time to make plans to cross the veil, you will do it with dignity and care. It is that dignity and care that will allow you to not feel tethered to the living world and your past here. It is because of that freedom being granted to you, that you indeed did the best you could with what life gave you. It is how you indeed realize that your did live well, and die well. Part of dying is letting go not just of life, but the living. Not just due to forgiveness, but out of the human need for strength.
When we feel wounded we grasp at any straws possible. Sometimes that means being controlling and abusive to others. Part of living well, and dying well is to reclaim your own power in life. So in death you will not be tempted to stick around the living to feel powerfully. Especially after a life that made you feel powerless. To live well and die well is to reclaim your sacred essence from the people and adversity that tried to take from you. It is reclaiming your power and your very soul from trauma. So that way you will not pass on your wounding on to future generations. We already covered who can help in these situations. Yet the choice is not theirs. It is yours. Are you willing and ready to take charge of your life? To truly live, thrive and heal no matter what? Are you ready to live well, and die well? May you be blessed by this season of transformation and come through healthier and stronger in the light half of the year. Blessed be. Why Shamanism Now? Podcast mentioned linked below https://whyshamanismnow.com/
Roman Delgado is a Psychic Reader and Shamanic Healer at Teotl Tonalli Intuitive Arts. He is an active member of the Keepers of the Flame Coven, ATC (The Ever Green Hearth) Please check our Community Connections page to find ways to connect with Roman or other members and Affiliates of The Ever Green Hearth.
* Not all of the views here are necessarily shared by other members of The Ever Green Hearth or The ATC. While we are all bound by some beliefs and oaths, we do not all have to share the exact same beliefs about life, the afterlife or death - and that is a wonderful thing about our coven!